Here I will update my current most-desired-and-yet-untasted brews and encourage my legions of fans to locate bottles for me and overnight FedEx them to my drinking compound.
1. Pliny the Younger (Russian River) – I have wanted to try this son-of-a-bitch for years. Even more so after having tried the Elder.
2. Trappist Westvleteren 12 — Generally regarded as the best beer in the world and perhaps the hardest to find as the monks that make it aren’t exactly into getting their product out there. Ya’ think I might be interested in this one? Of course.
3. Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout – Bourbon-barrel aged. Bourbon. Beer. Bourbon and beer together. Uh…yes please.
4. The Lost Abbey The Angel’s Share — The “angel’s share” is a term referring to the small amount of alcohol that evaporates away as oxygen is introduced in the distilling process, thus being sent to the heavens and the angels to drink. You know, if you believe in God in that shit. This one also comes in a bourbon barrel-aged bottling. We noticing a pattern here?
5. Three Floyd’s Behemoth Barleywine — Just like Russian River, Three Floyd’s stuff never seems to get to the East Coast either. At least as far as I’m aware. Would love to try any and all of their releases. Since I’m such a barleywine nut, I’ll put this as my most sought-after from them.
6. Three Floyd’s Dark Lord Imperial Stout — Man, they have cool bottle labels. I need to find some of these. They’re like bottles designed for anime geeks. Which I am not. Though I do like hentai. (Kidding.)
7. Kuhnhenn Bourbon Barrel Barleywine — Bourbon. Barleywine. 14.5% ABV. ’nuff said.
8. Portsmouth Kate the Great — Maybe the best regarded Russian Imperial Stout in the world.
9. Rogue Old Crustacean — This is another beer on my list that you wouldn’t think is particularly rare, and which isn’t even that highly regarded, but I want it so bad because I inexplicably CAN’T find it! Rogue beers are a piece of fucking birthday cake to find in NYC, many bars even have the Dead Guy on tap. My beer stores have dozens of Rogue bottles always in stock–hell, overstocked–but I’ve never seen the Old Crustacean around. What the fuck?
10. Stone Cali-Belgique — A new release from my favorite brewery! (exclamation point!) I’m not sure if this beer will ever make it to New York, but gawd I hope it does!! (double exclamation point!!) I CANNOT wait to try it!!!! (quadruple exclamation point!)
OTHERS OF INTEREST (Alphabetically):
Barley John’s The Dark Knight — I think this beer is retired, but I can still want it.
Captain Lawrence’s Smoked from the Oak — any will suffice
Deschutes Black Butte XXX, Black Butte Porter, Mirror Mirror and The Abyss
Founders Breakfast Stout
The Lost Abbey — Cuvee de Tomme, Lost & Found, Judgment Day, Ten Commandments and Port Hop 15 to name a few.
Milton Marcus Aurelius — I have to yearn for a beer named after my idol.
North Coast Old Stock Cellar Reserve (Brandy or Bourbon Barrelled)
Russian River beers (pretty much anything I haven’t had but mostly their Temptation, Beatification, and Damnation)
Samuel Adams Utopias — I’ve been lucky enough to have this masterpiece before but it’s so goddamn rare that I still have to dream that I’ll get to try it again. And again. And again…
Stone/AleSmith/Mikkeller Belgian Style Triple Ale — one-off limited release that I fear I may never get my grubby little Jew-paws on
Struise Black Albert
Three Floyd’s Dreadnaught IPA and countless others I’m sure
And one absolutely unattainable bourbon just for the hey of it…
Jim Beam Distiller’s Masterpiece (I could live with either the 18 or 20-year-old)
FORMERLY MOST WANTED BUT NOW TASTED!
Pliny the Elder (Russian River) — Less alcohol than the Younger’s Triple IPA, but I’m still dying to try this one. Fun fact: Pliny the Elder discovered and named the hops plant. He also died in the famous Pompeii Mt. Vesuvius eruption. Awesome. I hope I die via volcano.
Captain Lawrence Cuvee de Castleton — I live a $7-and-38-minute-express-Metro-North train ride from the brewery yet I still can’t find this motherfucking beer. The brewery itself describes it thusly: “This is a beer that will make you rethink your definition of beer. It doesn’t taste like any beer you’ve ever had, yet it doesn’t taste like anything else either.” OK, you’ve got me interested, fellas.
Fat Tire (New Belgium) — I know this beer isn’t particularly rare, hard to find, expensive, or even that highly-regarded, but I’ve always wanted to try it for some reason. Again, like most of these beers and brewers, New Belgium simply doesn’t distribute to New York City. People from Colorado are laughing at me right now. Hey, I thought it’d be good to at least throw one beer on here that I had a legit shot of knocking off the list sometime soon!
ALSO: Visit my TOP TEN LEAST WANTED LIST!